2007 Halloween Hills of Horror Half Marathon

10/24/2007
The joys of a small town half… I decided last Sunday to do the Hanover Hills of Horror Half Marathon (13.1 mile run) in Codorus State Park, Hanover PA…. which is a few miles South/West of York.. I am sure the appeal had something to do with the Hills of Horror theme…. So I drive the 2 hours to Hanover to tackle the “Hills of Horror”…

According to the online map, the elevation changes for this course gave a small indication that I may need to carry an oxygen pack… although an oxygen pack was not needed I did need to tote around my new hydration fuel belt with bottles…see my previous water/fuel pack belt did not hold enough water/gateraid for longer runs and so I invested in a much larger water/fuel belt that would hold two 22 ounce water bottles…. Joe to Wendy, “Isn’t that a little big for you????”

…I velcro the belt on.. hmm. …. It is a bit large.. hmmm… it is a bit heavy… hmmmmm.. so I take a spin around to test it out… donk.. donk… donk… stop adjust spin.. spin… spin… adjust again.. bounce.. bounce.. bounce… twist … donk… spin… pull and heck.. grrr… so I FINALLY rig it to sit firmly low on my hips.. I felt like a camel… My a-s now feeling 10 pounds heavier than usual.

All 80 of us lined up at the start…..me looking like GI Joe Camel.. the official was going over the course… blaa.. blaa.. blaa.. Farm Dogs... my EARS PERK UP… farm dogs??? What was that?? I continue to really listen now.. yes the farm dogs.. oh watch out for the farm dogs.. don’t worry they usually don’t run out in the road after you but just make sure, you might want to carry a rock or stick with you….

Are they kidding??...hmmmm… off we go.. I contemplate the need to carry a stick or stone.. but came to the conclusion that I was hauling two very large water bottles (44 ounces total).. on my belt and I could easily take one of the bottles off and beat any advancing canine with it.. oh sure you laugh now but it might work!!... I mean wouldn’t a 22 ounce bottle full of gateraid hurt…??? OK… so worst case scenario.. I could take off the water belt and use it as a whip….

This preoccupied my mind for the first few miles until the first large hill… I do have to say that they were SOME hills!!!! Ok.. so maybe like a mountain goat might not think so but I was a beach babe and I like nice flat beach roads… ok, so yes I did sign up for this voluntarily and yes obviously the Hills of Horror theme meant something.. but still!!!

So I then became preoccupied with this fuel belt thingy.. it appeared that it wouldn’t be content sitting on my hips.. it fought me the entire race.. up and around spinning around my waist… I push it down on my hips.. it flings back up… spin around.. and around… and I AM NOW getting VERY VERY annoyed… I am tired of playing this fuel game!! I contemplate taking off the belt and hurling it into the corn fields…

Led Zeppelin… I do really like Led Zeppelin.. what a plus it was playing.. I hear music as I round the top of a hill.. I do .. I really do. By the time I got to mile 8… the biggest, meanest hill on the course… I TRIED not to look up.. but oh come on you do have to glance… and the only thing I can remember thinking was.. thank G-D…. THANK G-D I was not on my bike!!!! Never did see the farm dogs.. I guess this was a plus because I would have let them eat me by mile 11…

Crazy… hmmm. My fuel belt at this time had stopped it’s relentless flopping around as the bottles now were lighter or maybe I was just more tolerant and didn’t give a sh-t…. the last mile was all up hill.. NOW that is just MEAN.. I finished with a smile… I had conquered my first “Hills of Horror” Half Marathon … oh and luck be have it.. or maybe it’s because no one else in their right mind runs this course.. I happen to place third in my age group… the joys of a small town half..