Altercations

I had an altercation today..

At work…

You really have to wonder if people will ever truly get it.

I am seeing it more and more every day.. people are just HURRY crazy. People are in a hurry to GET to work…in a hurry to get OUT of work.. in a hurry to get JR to soccer, baseball, guitar and swim lessons…to get to the grocery store…to a movie…even to get to church..

But what people are forgetting in their HURRY is that many of them are driving thousand pound killing machines.

I know its frustrating when someone slows up your world, heck I hate being inconvenienced, but at least I know that even though I am supreme ruler of the universe, I am not the only one in the universe...

I don’t know how many times I have been almost killed while running…people in their big ole metal machines not paying attention… driving too fast…talking on their DAMN cell phones.. well today just solidifies it.

While taking my “peaceful” walk from my truck in the far parking lot at work to the entrance of our building, some ANGLO SAXON man who thinks he is more important than the rest of world ….tried to run me over. YES, I did see him in his “really important car" ..and unless I have new magical powers of invisibility that I am unaware of…. I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN INVISIBLE…. and the fact that he had to swerve around me should have indicated to him that perhaps there is a problem.

So lets say that MR. I AM MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD man missed the fact that he had to swerve around me because I was allocating space in front of him ……then maybe perhaps my arms in the air and screaming as-hole pointed out the exaggerated fact that dude.. “YOU ARE AN A-SHOLE.”

Somehow Mr. A-shole manages to park his car and catch up to me as I enter the building. Bad move on his part…

“Mame, I sorry but I didn’t know you were going to walk out in front of me… and you didn’t need to call me an an a-shole”

(... oh he is soo not seriously lecturing me after he just tried to run me over....)

I don't think its wise to start something with someone who is coffee and donut deficient…

"Seriously dude I was in the middle of the street and you tried to RUN ME OVER, you are an A-SHOLE. (EXCLAMATION POINT)!!"

Not sure if his mommy ever talked to him like that or what.. but he was completely shocked that OMG someone called him an a-shole.. NOT ONCE.. BUT TWICE!


I think he tried to justify trying to kill me by stating I leapt into his path.

It’s a stretch buddy.. truly now you are reaching for it, you do realize if I had "leapt" into your path you most certainly would have felt it because I would have put my fist through your windshield.

He started to mumble that he was “only going 15 mph.” Really and you know this because you were watching the road or your speedometer? And you do realize you were in a parking lot?

Conversation is done… told him to call security explain that to them and perhaps maybe they can explain right of way to him.. i did "wish him well" with a closing remark that “I hope you don't run anyone else over…”

I am sure I will see him later in the cafeteria or something.. or maybe he will try and push me down the steps or poison me…

.. perhaps if I had had a chance to have a donut..I would have been more charming…

When one door closes SLAM THE NEXT DOOR SHUT!

Most of you have already heard by now.. for those who have not…

I did NOT make the first ROLLER DERBY DRAFTS….

So I pouted and I sulked.. and I cried myself to sleep. …

I guess I really didn’t think out what if…and yeah that was a bad assumption on my part.

I am fearless.. and believe that anyone can do anything if they believe it… I remember that first derby meeting, sitting around a picnic table listening to some man and his wild ideas, thinking what the heck, but oh yeah! I remember that first practice on my birthday learning how to skate...but oh yeah! I remember putting on my helmet on backwards and someone telling me.. but oh yeah!

I knew it would be hard balancing work, class two nights a week, family, keeping up with my running and tri training but derby was creeping into my soul. Yes, I know I am fearless..

I attempt a lot and sometimes I fall flat.. I pick myself up and continue on.. but sometimes it's just better to move on.. I spent a good portion of my life trying to make myself better, to hit goals and aspirations that well.. maybe are just not meant to be. Perhaps sometimes if you try something and fail.. maybe you are just suppose to fail and let it be.

For me life is about trying things I never thought possible and having fun doing so... a quote from one of my derby girls:

"I think of the first Saturday morning that we skated together and think how far you have come! You have been an inspiration to me. I am doing things at my age I never thought I would. I probably would have quit if you weren’t around pumping everyone up."

I'm glad my time in the league meant something, not just for me but for someone else. I am coming to terms with it ...and each day will get better. Perhaps maybe when that next door opens...I will peek first… R.I.P. NIKKI CAGE

Florida has made me SOFT

So WHY can't my life BE DRAMA FREE!??? I was excited that class got cancelled last night (teacher had a personal emergency)… so I pick up Bessie from mom & dad’s and gleefully headed home.. thinking I will relax with a glass of wine and wait for Joe (his flight from Wisconsin was to land around 6pm)…

SOOO, I'm home, I change into comfy clothes, pour a glass of wine, and log onto computer. Typing away...enjoying my beverage.. I notice my fingers were cold....really cold.... WOW, this Florida trip must of made me reallysoft... I put a housecoat on and think about gloves… it hasn't dawned on me yet to check the thermostat..

Ok... I check the thermostat… uh oh....60 degrees.. heater fan blowing cold air.. hmm... we use Propane Gas... I check stove.. UH.. OH....NO GAS.. means NO HEAT, NO HOT WATER, and NO STOVE TO COOK….

I KNOW I paid my bill. ..yeah... I'm sure of it... and were on automatic fill.. D-mn, I am going to have to go outside and check the outside gauge. I put the big girl boots on... and slop over mounds of snow and ice in the pitch blackness, in the frozen tundra... to check the outside buried tank... which by the way is up a large hill… it' me and the flashlight...trying to make it through the back yard in almost knee deep snow..

I get to the tank... phew... take cover off ...look around... did I mention its FREAKING DARK AS H-LL OUT THERE and I’m next to the woods where the "CHUPULAPRA" is?… and that I’m ALONE?… I notice there is a hang tag in there stating: 2/3 Delivered fuel, but since tank was empty we had to turn off service because no one was home.

WTF??? WTF??? AND WTF? I mean isn’t the reason you deliver fuel because someone is low in fuel? I am soo screwed because now my peaceful night of relaxing is DONE…

I trek all the way back to the house..., amidst cursing and surprising myself that I didn’t just roll down the ice covered hill into the driveway with my big boots and house coat wrapped around my head… I call the emergency number on the tag.. I speak to a really nice gal who is sympathetic to my plea. It appears that since there was NO FUEL in the tank when they went to fill it they were concerned that perhaps there was a leak… so they shut off my service as a safety measure since no one was home. HMMM....I asked her why no one called to tell me this.. she said they didn’t have a phone number on file...

Seriously? We have been your customer for 5 years and you do not have our phone number… I am exasperated but either case I give her my cell phone. she would call an “OFFHOURS” person .. and that the “OFFHOURS” person would be calling me soon..I thank her… .and have another glass of wine … and wait.. AND WAIT…

An hour or so later… NO ONE HAS CALLED… I recall the E-M-E-R-G-E-N-C-Y number and speak to a guy who was truly unimpressed with his job and did not give a rats a-s that I was cold, hungry, and annoyed.. I very nicely asked the status of my “OFFHOURS” person as I had yet to receive a call. He acted like I was interrupting him, and matter of factly stated, “We have been trying to get ahold of the “OFFHOURS” person, we call every half hour and they have yet to respond.” I thanked him and asked him to continue to reach them.... he ended the call with something to the effect of, “Is there anything else I can help you with and have a nice day”.. ...

SERIOUSLY?? HAVE A NICE DAY? Are you kidding me? I am livid and on my third or was that fourth glass of wine.. Bessie looked warm enough and I was quite warm because my blood pressure was up.. and contrary to popular belief if you are in a plane crash a bottle of liquor is important!.. (dont ask it was on a survival test).

SO I WAIT.. and WAIT SOME MORE.. Joe gets home, I brief him, WELCOME HOME honey.. I’m going to bed… at this point I can hear Joe talking with the E-M-E-R-G-E-N-C-Y number people again… and it doesn’t sound pleasant… I pass out. …and wake to the SHRILL sound of my cell phone ringing at 10:30pm or so and it was the “OFFHOURS” person…It appears “OFFHOURS” Dude will be at our house in the am.

ITS NOW THE AM... the house is 52 degrees INSIDE.. I tried to wash up... I now have frost bite...do you realize how COLD well water is when not heated?...I dont feel the cold anymore.. i have lost all feeling in all my extremities... miserable, an understatement... I have had no breakfast, no coffee, and on the verge of a mental throwdown... Florida has made me SOFT!.. I toss Bessie into the truck and headed to mom and dads leaving Joe to deal with the “OFFHOURS” dude… WELCOME HOME JOE..

End story: so there was NO LEAK (of course not), the guy mentioned (under his breath) that they were behind on deliveries and that is probably the reason we ran out of fuel (NO REALLY)… So everything is FINE (gee thanks)… the service is BACK ON (no really thanks)… and the house is attempting to warm itself up…if anyone mentions snow, ice, or the cold in any format other than BAD.. I will hunt you down... life is good?

Rehoboth Marathon 2010

December 11, 2010
Somehow I once again convinced joe that it’s a great idea to drive 2+hours in order to run 26.2 miles in 36 degree weather. Either I have really great persuasion powers or he's just really unintelligent (kisses)....originally the plan was to get up at 3am, drive to Rehoboth, run marathon, drive home.. but the ole man said that was not to his liking and we had to do option B: drive down late the night before, stay in cheap hotel, run marathon, then drive home.

I am not sure what it is about the Rehoboth Marathon but this is the 3rd time we have done this race and twice we were feuding prior to the start. “...and how come you didn’t wait for me you asshole!?” … “screw you beeach”… its just another wonderful morning in Mastripolito happy land. Next time I am so going to bring one of those light box things so when he starts, CLICK in his eyes, seasonal dysfunctional disorder... NICE BOY…

My intention for Rehoboth this year was to run it as a long run, no racing, just training. What was Joe’s intention? Not sure.. I tried to give grump a pep talk but like I said.. light box...

The start was great, other than the bitter cold, it’s a fast course and we lucked out with no wind.. and off we go. The first 3 miles flew by and I looked at my watch and UH OH… 25 mins… too fast tart… I clear 5 miles.. 43 minutes.. SHEETAH… stupid pet tricks.. yeah lets see how far this will get you.

Joe says I have a short attention span.. although normally I would agree, today... running for 4 hours and 41 minutes with no music and not a lot of happenings...nah.. I did get the unawarded honor of being "best dressed"…

Around mile 15 my knee locked up.. like I damn near fell over.. uh oh.. I stopped to stretch.. um… didn’t realize how much it was really hurting until about mile 18 when thoughts of morphine and chainsaws came to mind..

Crying would have been great, had I not been so aggravated over my candy corn. Trying to heat it up in my mouth while trying to run and breath, because if I dont get the 1 mm of sugar right now I may pass out...wtf is it frozen or stale?!! Something severely twisted about all of this… stop..

The bike patrol asked me if I was ok… he told me I could walk… NO REALLY.. thanks anyway.. NO REALLY I CANNOT PHYSICALLY WALK..

I couldn’t really get a good leg lift to run, and it hurt to walk so I would have to settle for a sickly slow shuffle. EVIL eye to the old crone listing to the right that pasted me, F/U's to the man dressed as a bumble bee, and yes I smiled at them all as they passed me.. because I CAN!

Around mile 22 I met a man, about dads age, he was curious why I kept stopping to stretch, I told him my knee was just being a bugger. He said it sucks getting older, I shook my head in agreement and thought he can't possibly be talking to me... heehee..

I am not much of a talker when I run, I mean I need to breathe and all and I still had candy corn stuck to my teeth but I grunted a bit with my new friend as we ran together, it was nice, my new friend was a man of few words.. until he pointed out the fact that we couldn’t possible run any slower and still be standing..

Finally finishing in 4 hours and 41 minutes… a smile on my face and then I realize that my beloved had been sitting in his silver wrapper in the cold waiting for me for almost an hour.. YES my friends, Joe beat me by almost an hour, finishing in 3 hours and 45 minutes. What the heck did he have for breakfast~!

The best part of the day was knowing that I burned like 5,000 calories and could eat a half of a pizza and drink a half of bottle of wine and go to bed with a smile on my face. Sometimes the lessons learned are not always in the actions applied.

BTW: December is our downtime… just saying

Because ITS MY BIRTHDAY

My birthday day……

5:30 am: up early, breakfast with Joe … respond to all my wonderful birthday wishes and emails..

8:30 am: jumped in truck to drive the hour to Claymont Delaware for derby skates… hit up Panera, coffee, snack…

10:00am: an hour later arrive at Skatebuys in Claymont, excited... jump out of truck and race to door.. um.. hello.. door locked.. peer in window… hello?....check my watch, its 10:05am.. look at door… try door again (like I am assuming I am not pulling it hard enough).. still locked… peer in again.. HMPH.. check watch.. place was suppose to open at 10am.. it did not.. bang on door… HELLO?... go back to truck.. call them... no answer… get back out.. bang on door… try door again... sit back in truck.. call them.. no answer..

A little agitated… what to do?.. I am in Delaware..well...Christiana mall is “only” 15 miles away.. and since I am already in Delaware that is… I mines well ….because its my birthday…!

10:30am: so drive.. drive.. drive... get to Christiana Mall and the right lane ends and I have to merge.. do they NOT realize its my birthday!!! Refusal to allow me to merge.. sure its ok.. I ride down the side give them all the finger and cut in front of them…

I am now at Christiana Mall.. alot more agitated than I was say about a half hour ago.. and realize I really DON’T want to shop… just want to skate… but I don’t have skates..

Dilemma... BUT I bet some place in philly sells them and is open for skating.. I google on my phone and locate a couple of open rinks and go on to my new quest…. (I know I am mentally ill)....

10:45am: I am now heading down Route 95 towards philly…and coming up on the same exit I came off of where the skates are SUPPOSE to be in Claymont… you know THE NOT OPEN place… I try and call them one last time and I get an answering machine… ohhh… does this mean they are in???

Debate.. should I…. or should I not….??..... try and see if they are open ONE MORE TIME? … and WTF… off the exit I go…..AND YES they are OPEN! .....HAPPY DANCE.. because its my birthday..!!!

Go in.. get skates, jump back in truck.. and finish heading to philly.. I am going to open skate and try out my new skates!!!

11:45am: An hour later I’m in Northeast Philly and realize…WOW I am about 5 minutes from Joe’s work…

RING.. RING... Call Joe.. Want to do lunch for my birthday?.. Yes.. Great.. first have to check out roller rink…one moment please...

So Palace Roller Rink in Northeast Philly.. its off the Boulevard… btw WHO IN GODS NAME CREATED THE BOULEVARD?!.. its like 6 lanes divided into two sets of 3 lanes with a medium strip in the middle AND a ramp between each set of lanes.. so I am shooting to the left.. then to the right..then to the left.. and......

12:00pm: FINALLY… arrive at the rink... jump out of truck rush inside… find out it’s “Mommy and me” skate time.. ok?… So like “Do I need a kid to skate ?” (I ask the slightly irritated overweight man at the window)… .

YES you do… (I am SURE he was thinking more of YES, you stupid ingrate... idiot… why do you think its called, mommy and me! ) ..

Fine whatever… I ask him for a schedule.. for what reason... to save my dignity... because why the hell would I EVER drive an hour into this arm pit of society to skate anyway!?…pondering where I can find a child SO I CAN SKATE... off to meet Joe for lunch....

12:30pm: Pick up joe, who in turn brings me inside his office to meet all of his co-workers…..how precious… I don’t think I even brushed my hair… HERE IS MY BEAUTIFUL… here is Wendy.

Off we go to Unos, seat by the fire, a peppermint candy cane milk shake and walnut salad… because ITS MY BIRTHDAY…. !!!

Joe takes me next door to the mixed martial arts store for some apparel and ends up dropping $145 for both lunch and presents... SWEET… thank you darling.. kiss kiss.. he is looking for someone mentally stable.. please send all inquiries to Email Box: I cant take it anymore, please help... … I drop him off and head towards home.

2:00 pm: Out of Philly I go..an hour later I am nearing King of Prussia…thinking wow.. still have time..I can stop at the King of Prussia mall and look around…Because its MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

The OUT OF GAS light comes SCREAMING ON… with wild pings of like you are OUT OF GAS YOU MORON… . sheetah!!! SHEETAHHH!H!!! I plug in GPS (THANK YOU GPS) for nearest station.. PRAYING .. please.. please.. please… DO NOT run out … its FREEZING and I have to pee!!

WHEW.. find a gas station…start to breathe …that is “reasonably” priced at $3.08 per gallon and fill my tank for $75 dollars.. WTF!

2:15pm: SO TIRED… need A NAP… but I am soo close.. and its STILL MY BIRTHDAY.. ok.. so get to mall.. walk around REALLY fast…….. realizing that there are TOO MANY RICH people who can pay $75 for an eye cover made of FUR and $395 for a feather sweater... I dont blame the sales reps for completely ignoring me... I didn’t look like I had a dime… which of course is NOW true..

3:00pm: Jump back in truck… and I KNOW its STILL MY BIRTHDAY… I will head to Exton Mall, least they like me there, and hit up the tanning place.. and TJ Max..


5:00pm: have to get home, have to let Bessie out, feed … feed… feed… play…play..play… dress for practice, back in truck… Derby practice…

7:05pm: Made it to Derby Practice.. AWE! Bro, sister in law, kids stop by with balloons and a card… SWEET!! because ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!

9:30pm - 2 hours of skating practice and drills… I am INSANELY exhausted…home, STARVING… pasta.. wine…

11:45pm – pass out and die…

BTW: I was up for all but 6 hours of my birthday day!!!!!

WHEW.. in 365 days I get to do this again!

Breaking the Rules

Disclaimer: Note this is NOT to offend any of my facebook friends or family but to alert my facebook friends and family to something that may or may not affect them.. and oh its for me to vent.. thanks!

There is a reoccurring problem in the running community that I have no idea how should be addressed… People who run a race in another person’s race number and are scored in the wrong category..

Like Men who get scored in a women’s category, or a 20 year old who gets scored in a Masters age group category. Now, I am NOT talking about people who WANT to be woman nor am I talking about men who have a “woman’s” name and then accidentally get scored in the wrong division.. I am talking about people, specifically men, who race in a registered women's bib and then get scored in the women's division.

For those that don’t know the racing scene, let me bring you up to speed. There is a common occurrence that happens, people share race numbers (bibs), sometimes it is by accident (a wife and husband wearing each other’s race bibs in error), or sometimes a person is injured and can't run and gives their number/bib to a friend, or perhaps sells their number/bib to someone who couldn’t get in a race. BRAVO to them for finding a good use for a paid race number/bib… BUT… do me a favor, before you race ....take off the timing chip.

See, what people who run races as someone else fails to remember is that they are skewing the race results... because the person who is taking the bib may NOT be that same age nor even the same gender as the original race number's owner. Thus all of a sudden you have a MAN placing in the top 10 of a race in the WOMENS 45-49 age group category.

So you say why should I care? I don’t ….unless it AFFECTS ME, and my race results,AND THEN trust me...I care and take issue with it.

IN some races, the rules specifically state no transfer of bibs and they make you sign a waiver (something about legality issues). But besides that, the point is people need to remember that there is more than THEM in the world and that what they are doing may affect someone else; a man should NOT be scoring in a women’s age group category. PERIOD.

The way I see it is, if you are going to run in another person’s number/bib, remove the timing chip…DO NOT GET OFFICIALLY TIMED. You don’t need the official times anyhow because it's not your name that will appear in the final results. I had stumbled upon this issue again this am, it's not the first time I have seen it and I am sure it will not be the last.

I always check the top 10-25 gals in my age group to see what they look like, to see I guess who my competition is or how really SKINNY they really are…HA! And what I found was 3 men running in registered women’s bib for the women 45-49 age group..SHAZAM… and one guy went to the effort to tape off part of the girls name, and the other crossed off the girls name which you can still read if you look closely enough.

This GUY ran for Christine Hetzler of NJ and placed 8th in the 45-49 year old womens age group… totally skewing up results for people who like poor Gwyneth who is 9th but actually should be 8th… picture below is the guy who ran in Christines bib.. you can see he even covered part of her name so it looks like he is Chris














So here is another one…he was running for Deb Foster placing #23 in the 45-49 age group… he went to the effort of crossing off her name but you can still read it..














And then there is this man who is #27th in the WOMENS 45-49 year age group.











So could all these “women” Christine, Deb, and Hye use their winning scores to qualify for Boston? Absolutely, and the REAL women didn’t even have to run the times to do so.

Would they do that? I hope not, but they could. What irks me the most is that races try their best to prevent this from happening, even checking drivers licenses when you pick up your race packet. But, if someone wants to hand off their number to someone else, there is nothing anyone can do. I didn’t even research any further… if there were this many people skewing up the results in just the top people in one age group, I can’t even fathom how many overall there were. What is truly sad is I can’t honestly know where I placed in my age group. SIGH.

I guess for the future I can do one of two things,( 1) win the damn races so there is no question on where I place, and/ or (2) tackle any man trying to be a woman.

Voting is Hard Work

Have to vote.... have to vote...running late, late.. late... have to vote..vote.. vote.. grab jacket, hat, gloves..

...drive to polling place.. Sweet..not too many people..should be easy in, easy out!...jump out of truck, look around.. it is me, a lady and a man...us.. only... with the doors locked..I peak in the windows.tap... TAP.. TAP.. i see someone... I motion to him…he unlocks the door ..and "YES?"

"Is this the polling place?"

"No…"

"Oh.. um… like do you know where the polling place is?

"No, sorry..…"

"Oh hmm…"

(like wtf to do?? - scratch head and)

"You know this hasn’t been the polling place for two years."

(Ok I am thinking smart ass isn’t that the last time there was an election, two years ago…? and shouldn’t you know where the polling place is if its NOT HERE!!!???)

Man in car - voting is at elementary school now… off we go.. I am SOO irritated.. will be late for work, havent had my coffee, and finally, get to the school, jump out of truck, notice that the STUPID seatbelt is stuck in the truck door... UGH!!... I turn back around but am still going forward … least my legs were..

Projectile missile... new shoes with pristine smooth bottoms…...catapulted my legs out from underneath me..smacking my big ole head on the ground... sprawled out, legs twisted underneath me.. half under the truck, half not, purse contents and cell phone spewed everywhere and OHH ... moan...groan...I only lay there for a fraction of a second, mortified, and amazed at my own amazingness... jumping up, looking around to see if anyone happen to see me.. brush off, and dude THAT REALLY HURT... hobble into vote... DUDE this voting takes a lot of work…!!!

Pathetic woman entering polling place and so kind polling volunteer, And "Good morning miss, nice hat…"

Pathetic woman touches her head.. and "Thanks"..i say realizing I had grabbed my funky hat instead of my professional work hat and then proceeded to look at my hands.. and OMG I am wearing gardening gloves…!

Dont ask... just really don't...least mom will be proud ...and I think my leg should be about broken by now...