Recovery

WORN OUT.... it's now Friday, a week after Heather’s wedding and I am just starting to feel semi human again.... DANG… THAT wedding stuff is exhausting… !

Sure the humongous amounts of alcohol consumed from Friday night through Saturday night, the late nights with limited sleep, the socializing for three solid days with family and friends, the flailing of arms dancing, and the pitiful EARLY morning runs on a hangover depleted not only my physical reserve but my entire mental reserve. PITIFUL…

I do have to give some credit to the fact I took my nursing 3-1/2 hour Teas test three days before the wedding, Bessie’s 1st birthday was the day after the wedding and mom’s trip to philly to see the cancer doctor was two days after, and oh yeah I put in a garden fountain and some annuals.. so ...its.. ok.. I am sure this all didn’t help my complete, utter exhaustion. …

So I shouldn’t be so down that my training this week have been below par with a total depletion of natural resources.... BUT still, how many days does it take to recover from a wedding?!

Recovery from FULL Ironman: 2 days

Recovery from a wedding: 7+ days & counting

Just a little fun stuff at the wedding with the nephews:

Ironman New York 2012

I'm IN!...Ironman New York, August 11, 2012:
The inaugural Ironman U.S. Championship begins with a wave start, 2.4-mile point-to-point swim in the Hudson River. The 112-mile bike course spans the cliffs of Palisades Parkway followed by a 26.2-mile run course over the George Washington Bridge and finishing at 81st Street in the heart of the city.

I WAS SO EXCITED about the new Ironman debuting in 2012 in New York and had a careful conversation with Joe about me competing in it. It would be a rather large expense and given the amount of training needed, I would need his full support. With his blessing, I attempted to sign up. [Registration opened up at 12 noon on Wednesday, June 15th and all general spots sold out in 11 minutes.]

I was so nervous about trying to sign up, we were camping at the beach and the only internet connection and computer was dad’s paid by megabits, and if we went over allocation it would just shut off. And so I waited, watching the clock…..sigh....

ME, being the organizational queen, I made sure I had my credit card info, USAT license, and active account info handy. IN fact, I made sure what questions they may ask on their form so I could expedite it faster ( see it pays to have previously applied to the Kona Lottery and filled out their HUGE questionnaire). I knew this race would sell out fast, even with the higher price tag, and I knew it would take the proper time to log on to not be shut out.

I knew from previous shut outs not to log on before 12.. but that I had to log on EXACTLY at 12 or possibly get shut out.. so I had watched the seconds pass …11:55..11:56...11:57.. and.. it was A GO… 12:00pm… click on REGISTER NOW link on the website (which I already had up).. wait.. wait.. wait…GOD this is SOO stressful… a minute later it goes to the next screen…

Put in my Active password.. pray.. wait.. wait… wait.. OK.. next step… who is registering?.. fill in.. click fast Wendy… how old? click fast… and agree to conditions.. wait.. wait.. next screen. I am SHAKING because of all the adrenalin in my system… I cannot keep my hands still.. concentrate Wendy!!! PLEASE don’t let the connection go out… I knew how to answer REALLY fast.. there were 43 questions to answer… and I am a FAST TYPIST!

Click.. wait for next screen…please.. oh please… and we are at the PAYMENT screen… put in my card number.. wait… and...

INSUFFICIENT FUNDS comes up…WHAT!! OMG!!!!.. Wendy stay Calm!...I am in a crises, I don’t have any other cards, except my Victoria Secret card and I am about to FREAK OUT... (I totally work well under pressure).. I keep a level head.. .. I knew that if I didn’t obtain another form of payment within a few minutes, it would be refreshed and I would have to start over and most probably will lose my spot… I DIAL JOE AT WORK.. PLEASE...PLEASE... PLEASE answer.. don't be in a meeting... sweating and feeling sick.. he has to answer..

PLEASE GOD….ring.. ring…and..

"Hello…" (Now he already gave me his blessing on this expense and knew I would be trying to register)… I explained to him as calmly as I could and he gave me his credit card info and I put it in.. and I PRAYED.. and clicked the button… AND…

CONGRATULATIONS! You are now registered for the 2012 US Ironman Championship..

I then I cried…

PS: by the way, thank you honey, you also bought me a women’s 2012 Training Shirt! KISSES!

Eagleman Half Ironman 2011

Cambridge, Maryland

Sunday, June 12, 2011
Half Ironman: 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run

Weather: HOT, start was 70 degrees @ 6am and ended up around 85 with heat indexes in the 90’s by 3pm.

Swim: Water 82 degrees, warm, calm (except when fat boys swam by)..TIME: 1:15:56.. Garmin picked up 1.46miles (that’s because I swam wide to get away from the fat boys)

Bike: Some winds, flat, warm… TIME: 3:28:11 (16.14 MPH avg)

Run: HOT, flat, no shade, did I mention HOT ..TIME: 2:32:25 (11:38 avg)

Motivation. What causes someone to wake up early, on their day off, so they can spend 7+ hours in the hot sun? Motivation? Dedication? Insanity? Because they are dumb as a board?

Sometimes I have to wonder WHY?..Why am I doing this....... and why do I continue to do this!?

Originally, I was going to qualify for Kona...YEAH... that was 4 years ago... REALity check... realized that after Eagleman 2008, qualifying was going to take A LOT MORE then dedicated training and hardwork, it was going to take a jet pack on my arsh and a miracle.
That year, in 2008, was the hottest Eagleman that I have done to date. The heat index were well over 100…with whispers of 107..… and carnage was everywhere..

I came back to race again in 2009 with “milder temps” and HIGHER winds for Eagleman 2009... because I just didn’t have enough PAIN...

THEN... I came back again in 2010 for the Eagleman diabolical... not being able to wear wetsuits...the buoys blowing off course....and having hundred’s of people DQ'd off the swim time cut offs. ....BUT the best part was not getting pulled UNTIL riding the ENTIRE bike course of 56 miles ( 3+ hours later) and coming in to find a big “DO NOT RUN” taped across our shoes..

OF course what would any normal person do!?..... SIGN UP AGAIN and come back for 2011, my 4th Eagleman attempt.

AND AGAIN I have to question WHY?...WHY do I want to do this AGAIN?!

I ended last year coming off a great full Ironman, Chesapeake Man, and took a month of swim lessons and a few daily swims in January and then nothing.. huh?... nothing…NADA, NIL, ZIP , ZINGO...ZERO... I didn’t swim from March through June... OOPS..OUCH..

OH and don’t even get me started on the bike… Since Chesapeake Man at the end of September.. I rode my bike.. um.. ONCE.. yes in the last 8 months I road my bike ONE TIME.. HOLY HELL.. !

SHHH...

So the weather this winter sucked, I played around too much with Derby, I just didn’t allocate the time I needed to train... UM... ok .. but to my credit… I did a couple marathons and half marathons, so I did at least run.. a bit. SIGH..

When the April 15th REFUND date came and I had lost my “last chance” to back out of the race and get a partial refund of the $$$$ exorbitant race fees.. I had to question WHY.... even when a couple of my friends backed out...I just COULD NOT put my finger on the refund trigger... WHY!??

At this point I knew ....I must suffer from some sort of mental illness.

Poor Joe.... suffering the same fate…he didn’t train adequately either and he too could not back out... WTF!

As the last few weeks went by before the June 12th Race... we both wrestled with what to do?!Should we attempt it with inadequate training OR not? What to do? What to do!?

Then a light...and a SLAP in the head from Molly, Claudia, and Jen (our Bricks Tri buddies from Delaware)... who pointed out that the race cut off rules HAD CHANGED.. and that instead of a 1:10 cut off after each wave for the swim it would be 1:10 after the LAST WAVE....and since I was in the 4th to the last wave (something like that).. stay with me please.. I would have about 1:45 to finish the swim... I WAS LIKE WHAT!? SERIOUSLY!?? Hallelujah!!! AND WHAT NOT!!.. That means I would NOT get DQ’d off the swim!!... I knew last year even with no wetsuit and floundering around I made that by a long shot!. Sweet baby Jesus! TOTALLY in!

Contrary to popular belief .. I LOVE to swim.. I love swimming in the choptank because it reminds me of the summers at Port Herman on the Chesapeake. Chop doesn’t bother me, dead fish dont bother me, murky water don't bother me.. but being DROWNED BY FAT MEN BOTHERS ME!

Packet pick Up and Racking Bikes:


















OK.. so now the Race Report:

4am: Wake up, (actually wide awake since 2am)...breakfast, coffee, and I AM READY!

4:45am: Drive to race, try to run a couple people over, heck its early, score a good parking spot.
5:30am: In transition, setting up, SO COOL to experience this with Joe. He did make mention that he couldn’t do this without me and my “organizational skills”…

6:15am: Uh Oh… potty problems

7:30am: Joe and I sample the water and end up getting our feet cut. My toes get sliced on barnacles while Joe had the bottom of his foot sliced open. Of course neither of told each other of our bleeding feet TILL after the race.... I mean why worry the other! ?

7:50: (Approx): My swim wave (women 40-49) gets in the water and I am ready…

7:55 (Approx): The swim wave behind us (men 45-49) get int he water with us, HUH?.. They are not suppose to get in until AFTER we start... congestion... Now I have a HUGE man standing in front of me!!! .. I take my arm and push him aside as he says, "OH I DIDN’T SEE YOU".. UM, NO, really a-hole? Another man steps on me.. UM EXCUSE ME..HELLO!?? The whistle, its a go... I have to push away another man swimming IN FRONT Of me as I am proceeding to go forward.... he is blocking me…arrogant MEN!

The Swim: Seriously had a great swim for the first half of the course and made it out to the first buoy before I heard the FAT BOYS wave whistle go… BTW this is Joe’s wave (The FAT BOYS 45-49 Men).. they were scheduled to go off 8 minutes after my wave (which was 40-44 and 45-49 women). I almost made it to the second buoy before the FAT BOYS got to me…the lead swimmers stay to the inside and hug the lines, I never have a problem with the leaders.. I swim wide to make sure I don’t get in their way. BUT it’s the MID packers that kill me… these men literary swim over me. Normally if you hit someone or something you move over.. not the FAT BOYS.. .they have no problem with the thought that they are the best in the world and that they are entitled to own the swim.

I was hit once, then twice, I moved further out and then some really large dude smacked me on the head and THEN continued to try and drown me. No amount of kicking to keep the beasts off helped.. I ended up having to stop swimming and turn around and DODGE them..the water is now a turbulent sea of waves...................

I swung out a little farther and got back into a rhythm. Then I felt something on my toe. UM.. I stop and turn around..nothing there…swim.. swim swim.. what the heck is sucking on my toes!!!! Of course this is why MAYBE my swim times SUCK… I spend more time fooling around in the water then anyone out there… BUT something was nibbling my damn toe!

I noticed that I was passed by the silver wave, then some in the pink wave with a really nice girl stopping her swim to see if I was ok… what a sweet heart.... I am at the last buoy and I hear the boy managing the incoming wave trying to get my attention… I purposely was ignoring him because I didn’t want to be told I was disqualified for any reason.. if I ignore him I cant get disqualified!

Finally, I understood what he was saying… PURPLE CAP (me).. you can stand.. ME: oh yeah! So I start to run in the water.. it was waist deep and I still had about 200 yards to go…kinda felt like I was cheating but F-ck that!!… swear to go God I make more of a production of the swim than it needs to be.

9:15am (approx): ok so I am in transition and I glance over to make sure I see if Joe’s bike is gone, of course it is..AS IS almost the entire field of 2500 racers.. all their bikes are gone.. sans mine and LOOKY..smile …there are still two bikes in my 45-49 rack.. ok... thank god I was not last out of the water in my age group... Sweet!

Bike: So I grab ole crusty (my bike) and head out for my 56 mile bike jaunt. AH...I was thinking between Eagleman, Chessyman, and our practice rides, I believe I have completed this course about 10 times… I knew it well... I hated the rumble strips they put in a few years ago, I was pleasantly surprised with the new paved portion, I saw the normal church, and said a prayer in passing for the graves, I saw the place I flattened a tire in a race a few years ago and said another prayer that it wouldn’t happen again this year, and then I realized that this year their lacked a serious headwind!.. SWEET! HECK.. I didn’t feel the need to crawl up in a ball and die! BUT MY ARSH SURE HURT…


Around mile 25 or so I saw a leg.. yes a critter leg… at approximately the same place we had seen a carcass of WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT JOE? on one of our practice rides last year….EEEWWEE..like seriously EWE!...

I have my home on wheels... I am able to eat, drink and be merry on my bike and not break the pace... I started to pass a lot of people after mile 30.... LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this no headwind crap!

When heading down Egypt road I noticed a sign for a new development, uh.. oh.. and oh much sadness hit as I realized that the many dark days of running down Egypt road during Chessyman may not be the same now.

SO around mile 50 a motorcycle official drove up besides me and I thought, SHEETAH .. now what did I do!? OMG, I hope I don’t get a penalty. He pulled up besides me as I rode “to talk”.. it appears he “seem to remember me” from other races… since I have done Eagleman and Chessy man quite a few times, interesting conversation.. I assume I vaguely remember him as well… but it was a good pick up line on his part... kinda enjoyed the company, glad he didn’t mind the gummy worm that I was spewing out of my lips. I bet those elites don’t get this treatment!

As I was coming in from the last 3 miles of the bike, I saw Joe heading out on the run, he was at mile 3.. he waved and I think it perked him up to know that I was at least 6 miles behind him (3 on the bike and 3 on the run). My knees started to lock up a bit, and my arsh SURE HURT A LOT and it was REALLY getting HOT now.

1:00pm: Transition time again, took my time and poured water on my feet to cool them off.. AHHHH... I got myself together for the run, walking out of transition until I hit the run start.. then I ran… something like a run… it was forward motion at least fora bit and then UH OH..

Run: NEED to get to a potty NOW! I literally sprinted to the first port–a-pot and almost passed out inside it… DAMN HOT in those things.. At the aid station I got a couple cups of ice and put them in my sports bra… I rattled…

I was very pleased with my run this year… IT WAS HOT.. I WAS SICK.. I hit every port a pot… with serious distress…. And at each aid station I filled my bra with ice. Thankfully I packed some Tums…

I saw Joe again perhaps at mile 9 but I was at mile 5? He had picked up the pace a bit. I also saw a bunch of my new tri friends.. I totally was not alone on the course. I knew this was only a 13.1 mile run and that I had done 26.2 in just as bad, if not worse conditions last September, so I thought I CAN DO THIS… and I did.

I remember Joe cheering me in near the finish and then I was done.. 7 hours and 25 minutes. Not my best Half Ironman Time but I’ll take it... I finished.. and with Joe...

Joe did amazing, nailing the swim in 56:26, bike in 2:24:08 (19.30 mph) and the run in 2:29:55 (11:26 mph pace).. total of 6:29:29.

After my finish, I was still feeling quite sick and needed a moment or so to regroup. But no one could erase that smile off my face. I had finished my 3rd complete Half Ironman Triathlon (would have been 4th had I not got DQ’d last year). AND I think this is it.

The training takes SO MUCH time and is such a personal commitment and I know that I don’t want to enter a race again untrained.

I have a lot of great ideas, and great goals.. and I can't wait.. until my next adventure..
AND OH HOLY HELL.. the mental illness did it again
Ironman New York, August 2012... just saying..

The Tree Doctor has spoken

OK.. I am a TREE HUGGER and proud of it...

.. so when a few of our trees were.. well.. looking.. a bit CLOSE TO DEATH, we hired an Arborist to help determine WHY....and well the news..

IS NOT GOOD...

3 of the 25 year old rather large Maple Trees are suffering from Girdling Root.. which I come to find out is especially common in maples where trees have been transplanted from one site to another, like from nurseries to landscapes.

SO WHAT IS THAT? Basically the roots of the trees are strangling the trees…

OK.. so how does that happen?: Sometimes, when the trees are planted the transplant holes are too small and the planter chooses to “screw” the tree into the hole rather than take the time to enlarge it. In other cases, the tree is grown in a container that is too small to accommodate the increasing size of the root system. The roots are forced to grow in a circular fashion rather than their normal pattern of radiating out from the stem. Death without removing the strangling roots is 5-20 years.

SOOO…because our poor STRANGLED trees were denied proper nutrients and water... they are in a lower state of health ..

WHICH brought in a secondary infection because of their weakened state…

WHICH brought in the wood boring beetles & insects who are eating it from the inside out..

WHICH brought in the woodpeckers who are trying to eat the beetles who are marking up the trees and providing further avenues for infections to enter the trees.

WHICH is why the trees are covered in black mold soot (its actually tree sap leaking out from the woodpecker holes and turning into a black soot mold).

................AHHHHHHHHHHHH

He said unfortunately …2 of the trees CANNOT be saved.. SORRY…DONE.. FINIS... CAPUT... they would probably go into fall colors early and then just die, DIE....DIE><>DIE

He said one of them still MAY be saved... but its a stretch.. it would take excavating around the tree to get at the strangling root and remove it. However, if he opens up the area around the tree and see it's too diseased he will not go any further. He left prices for all this at the house for my review upon my return. UM THANKS?

HE ALSO examined the oak tree closest to the house… took tissue samples as he believes it has a bacterial infection…will know results in two weeks… Dude my trees are being strangled and possibly have STD'S!.. SUCH a SAD, SAD Day at Mount Krumpet!

FOCUSED

SOOO if I can remain focused..

This is my fall schedule :

9/4/11: Labor Of Pain 12 hour Run (I get to run with Joe all day.. precious) http://www.pretzelcitytiming.com/laborpain.html

10/2/11: Wineglass Marathon (get to drive 5hours to NY to run for wine..) http://www.wineglassmarathon.com/


10/23/11: Tussey 50 Miler (50 miles of hills and running “with” joe..no comment) http://www.tusseymountainback.com/


First off though...I have to get the LONE RANGER out of the way......


7/16/11: Lone Ranger Ultra 24 Hour Run…(SAY WHAT!)

So once that is done I should be able to FOCUS …a bit….so yeah the Lone Ranger Ultra… 24 hours of running… it REALLY DID seem like SUCH a good idea at the time (when I signed up 7 months ago).. but HELLO… running for 24 hours??!..

This is when you say OMG what the hell was I thinking! Like waking up after a night of drinking and OMG who the hell are you?!..

BUT I am STOKED! Seriously excited to see what I can and cannot do for 24 hours… I have my plan of attack… Pacers on board .. here is some of the info from the website:

The Stroehmann Back on My Feet Lone Ranger Ultra Marathon starts in front of Lloyd Hall - One Boat House Row and has become one of the most popular Ultra’s in the country. It’s for experienced runners who want to test themselves to see how many 8.4-mile laps they can do around Philly's Schuylkill River Running Loop in 24 hours .

All Lone Rangers must get their vitals taken when they check in (weight, temperature and blood pressure) – NO EXCEPTIONS. PLEASE DO NOT RUN or BIKE TO PICK UP YOUR BAG AS YOUR VITALS NEED TO BE PROPERLY RECORDED, or they will have to be taken again on Saturday morning
(Seriously… like why would anyone run or bike PRIOR to running for 24 hours..WTF! )

Many participants choose to bring their own tent to have outside to be a part of the great 20in24 atmosphere. There will be a lot of space to set up camp and you can see the site layout here. Some people choose to rent a van or a RV and park in the parking lot.
(Now that’s what Im talking about…. A RV!)

Pacers are only allowed for lone rangers after the 4th lap and they must be on foot – not bike. They must check in at the table and get an official bib. Anyone caught using an unofficial pacer will be disqualified
(Check pacers only after mile 30+)

We have instituted a flag system to keep all participants aware of the weather conditions and each flag color represents a different level.

1. Green Flag - Race status is normal

2. Blue Flag - Require all racers to carry electrolyte replacement (Gu Electrolyte Brew -supplied on course). In general, you can expect a blue flag when the heat index is between 90 and 101.

3. Orange Flag - Require all racers to stop at both of the medical stations on course. This flag will be shown when heat index is 102-105. Heat cramps and/or heat exhaustion are a very real possibility; heatstroke is possible.

4. Red Flag - Require all racers to walk. Please know that we are also runners on this end and we know the idea of having to walk is not appealing, but we hope you understand that we would only ask this of you if the heat index gets to a dangerous level of 105 or more.

5. Black Flag - If the risk of lightening requires intervention. Runners should proceed to the nearest rest station and the rest station personnel will record the bib number of runners who took shelter at the rest station.
(SERIOUSLY FOLKS... like I will even know my name, let alone remember what color flag means what after running for God knows how many hours....)

SO here are some helpful hints I pulled up for Pacers:
A large part of a pacer's success is his or her sensitivity to the runner's emotions. (UH - OH)Knowing the runner well allows the pacer to provide different incentives at different times. And it helps for pacers to understand the peaks and valleys any ultrarunner experiences while covering many miles over long, lonely hours. Sometimes a runner might be encouraged by praise for a fast split between aid stations or a great climb. At other times, simply mentioning the amount of distance covered or the "measly" 22 miles left to go might spark a wrathful reply from a fatigued, nauseated ultrarunner. At such times, the pacer needs to use his or her best psychological skills to redirect the runner's venting and refocus him or her on the task and goal.

The point is, first, be prepared for all requests that a runner may have, and if that fails, be creative. It doesn't take much to redirect a tired runner's limp mind.
(So whose in to pace me?!)

Ultra Website: http://www.20in24.com/the-back-on-my-feet-lone-ranger-ultra-marathon.html
Lone Ranger Start Time: 10 am - Saturday, July 16th…..front of Lloyd Hall - One Boat House Row.

Each lap is 8.4 miles ..at a 12 min pace would take around 1 hour 40 minutes..

End: 10am - Sunday, July 17th.

Tentative Pacer schedule
10am–5pm: SOLO (4 laps) 33.66 miles
5pm – 7pm: (2 laps - 16.8 miles)
7pm – 9pm:
9 pm – 12am: NIGHT
12am-5am: NIGHT
5am-7am:
7am-8am:
8am-10am:


(So whose in to pace me?!)

Altercations

I had an altercation today..

At work…

You really have to wonder if people will ever truly get it.

I am seeing it more and more every day.. people are just HURRY crazy. People are in a hurry to GET to work…in a hurry to get OUT of work.. in a hurry to get JR to soccer, baseball, guitar and swim lessons…to get to the grocery store…to a movie…even to get to church..

But what people are forgetting in their HURRY is that many of them are driving thousand pound killing machines.

I know its frustrating when someone slows up your world, heck I hate being inconvenienced, but at least I know that even though I am supreme ruler of the universe, I am not the only one in the universe...

I don’t know how many times I have been almost killed while running…people in their big ole metal machines not paying attention… driving too fast…talking on their DAMN cell phones.. well today just solidifies it.

While taking my “peaceful” walk from my truck in the far parking lot at work to the entrance of our building, some ANGLO SAXON man who thinks he is more important than the rest of world ….tried to run me over. YES, I did see him in his “really important car" ..and unless I have new magical powers of invisibility that I am unaware of…. I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN INVISIBLE…. and the fact that he had to swerve around me should have indicated to him that perhaps there is a problem.

So lets say that MR. I AM MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD man missed the fact that he had to swerve around me because I was allocating space in front of him ……then maybe perhaps my arms in the air and screaming as-hole pointed out the exaggerated fact that dude.. “YOU ARE AN A-SHOLE.”

Somehow Mr. A-shole manages to park his car and catch up to me as I enter the building. Bad move on his part…

“Mame, I sorry but I didn’t know you were going to walk out in front of me… and you didn’t need to call me an an a-shole”

(... oh he is soo not seriously lecturing me after he just tried to run me over....)

I don't think its wise to start something with someone who is coffee and donut deficient…

"Seriously dude I was in the middle of the street and you tried to RUN ME OVER, you are an A-SHOLE. (EXCLAMATION POINT)!!"

Not sure if his mommy ever talked to him like that or what.. but he was completely shocked that OMG someone called him an a-shole.. NOT ONCE.. BUT TWICE!


I think he tried to justify trying to kill me by stating I leapt into his path.

It’s a stretch buddy.. truly now you are reaching for it, you do realize if I had "leapt" into your path you most certainly would have felt it because I would have put my fist through your windshield.

He started to mumble that he was “only going 15 mph.” Really and you know this because you were watching the road or your speedometer? And you do realize you were in a parking lot?

Conversation is done… told him to call security explain that to them and perhaps maybe they can explain right of way to him.. i did "wish him well" with a closing remark that “I hope you don't run anyone else over…”

I am sure I will see him later in the cafeteria or something.. or maybe he will try and push me down the steps or poison me…

.. perhaps if I had had a chance to have a donut..I would have been more charming…

When one door closes SLAM THE NEXT DOOR SHUT!

Most of you have already heard by now.. for those who have not…

I did NOT make the first ROLLER DERBY DRAFTS….

So I pouted and I sulked.. and I cried myself to sleep. …

I guess I really didn’t think out what if…and yeah that was a bad assumption on my part.

I am fearless.. and believe that anyone can do anything if they believe it… I remember that first derby meeting, sitting around a picnic table listening to some man and his wild ideas, thinking what the heck, but oh yeah! I remember that first practice on my birthday learning how to skate...but oh yeah! I remember putting on my helmet on backwards and someone telling me.. but oh yeah!

I knew it would be hard balancing work, class two nights a week, family, keeping up with my running and tri training but derby was creeping into my soul. Yes, I know I am fearless..

I attempt a lot and sometimes I fall flat.. I pick myself up and continue on.. but sometimes it's just better to move on.. I spent a good portion of my life trying to make myself better, to hit goals and aspirations that well.. maybe are just not meant to be. Perhaps sometimes if you try something and fail.. maybe you are just suppose to fail and let it be.

For me life is about trying things I never thought possible and having fun doing so... a quote from one of my derby girls:

"I think of the first Saturday morning that we skated together and think how far you have come! You have been an inspiration to me. I am doing things at my age I never thought I would. I probably would have quit if you weren’t around pumping everyone up."

I'm glad my time in the league meant something, not just for me but for someone else. I am coming to terms with it ...and each day will get better. Perhaps maybe when that next door opens...I will peek first… R.I.P. NIKKI CAGE