TheKnot

Heather's Wedding Website... TheKnot

WHY DOES NO ONE RELAX AROUND ME!!!>????

So not sure if the over two feet of snow.... being up for over 35 hours TWICE in one week... or the actual driving for 40+ hours made us brain dead.. but yup brain dead ..so will be adding the stories.. from a few weeks ago.. bit by bit..

Florida Trip
Thursday, January 28th
Time to head to Florida.. for our annual.. lets driving as far south as we can in as short of time as possible.. on no sleep, run a marathon and then drive back.. yeah..

So we start our yearly trip around 11pm, Thursday night.… oh yeah.. after already working a full day and sitting through 3 hours of night school… by the time we hit the road, we had already been up for 17 hours… but the goal was to make it to Savannah, GA (12 hours away)… and then relax….I am sorry but Joe should severely question the word “Relax” when I am around..

Well I think we handled it quite well…the mindless driving for hours and hours in the dark with NOTHING to look at but endless, flat roads… "Oh look Joe".. "There's something".. "Oh, no, sorry.. hallucination"….yeah right no open space… just like no global warming.. what sick twisted hell do I subject myself too.. ! ...I am not sure how many people can say that they still have plenty to talk about 22 years later.. but yeah.. we still do…

Savannah arrived around noon…. Strange how that works... but I convinced Joe that it would be a good idea to go to the waterfront and walk around, stretch the legs a bit.. I mean the fact that we have now been physically awake for 30 hours, smelling quite ripe… and looking like that brown stuff that gets stuck on your shoes…I told him it could be worse.. at least this is good training for 100 milers…

We checked into the hotel around 2…realized that we were now unable to sleep and went to pool, quite possibly funny that we did not drown, and then went to dinner… I found it almost hard to chew I was THAT tired.. up now 36 hours… dinner is a plate of fantastic chicken n dumplings from cracker barrel… carb heaven…

"Sure Joe".. "I will be ok walking back to hotel"..stomach bloated with expanding flour (note: there are about 10 hotels in walking distance of dinner).. "Not a problem… go ahead.. you go get your beer"… I head back to hotel.. …I am not worried... I mean someone snatches me.. good luck… god bless them and all that..

.. whew.. weather is soo much nicer here then home.. I get to hotel.. walk inside ... go to walk up lobby steps.. QUESTION??????... Steps are in a different place.. ????????...now how did they do that.. hmph.. I glance over to the lady at counter.. hmph.. Ohhhh…. SHEEEEEZZZZA

I am a complete moron.. I am in the wrong hotel.. ok.. need to act really cool...turn and look at pamphlets.. feel my face get really really hot... I know I am a few shades of stupid… I slink to the door.. and bolt.. whew.. what an a-hole… what a freaking cracker... I make it back to the CORRECT hotel.. been up now 37 hours… … hope joe makes it back..

Saturday, January 30th
Time to head to Ocala… Florida.. yes that’s the next stop on the Mastripolito road adventure.. because we need to run a marathon.. I mean ok.. so the ride should only be a good 4 or 5 hours tops… easy stuff…

Stop at Florida Welcome Center… they have free welcome OJ.. and popcorn… yum... this is turning out to be a good ,good day.. still a bit tired from not catching up on sleep... but good…. Look over and.. WTF is Joe doing!???

Look of stun on my face.. … Joe has a big ole smile.. like "special bus smile".. and he is feeding the birds!.. the popcorn!.. what is wrong with him!!!… now Joe has big ole eyeballs… as the birds attack him.. serves him right.. stupid idiot... I hope they shit on him.. what an a-hole.. now Joe runs to truck… and to think I am the sane one.. shaking head.. sigh….

A little bit tired of driving.. thanks… but we arrive in Ocala by 3pm. SWEET… time to pick up the race packet, check in and …..R-E-L-A-X??? YEAH…

Sunday, January 31st
Ocala Marathon.. 7am will be the start time… it’s a bit cold.. 44 degrees..its Florida????.. just checking.. we are bundled up from head to toe heading to the race… we run into another runner who was from Ocala… she asked us if we were from Miami… should we lie to save face.. shouldn’t northerners be hard core ?

Ok… when is running 26.2 for fun.. fun???? JUST CHECKING... … a bit of stomach distress.. a couple "pot-o- lets" (it's what they call them)... and I'm completing my 10th marathon in three years.. not counting my 2 ultras… nice…

Thankfully Joe came back (after he finished) and ran me in the last half mile.. because I was a miserable SOB.. and needed SOMETHING to make me not walk..having him to bitch at .. helped TREMENDOUSLY... just saying...

Joe smashed his previous marathon time and broke 4 hours.. coming in at 3:57 something.. after the race we looked at his specs and he had dropped a minute off his time each mile after mile 22… how do you get FASTER after running for 3-1/2 hours!!!! Joe will end up taking 2nd in his age group.. and win a great trophy… and for those who know me.. and my love for hardware.. YES I'M GREEN WITH ENVY!!! I'm just assuming beer does the body good!

Congrats Joe!!!!.. K.. so now time to jump in car and drive the 4 hours to Joe's parents house near Fort Myers, Florida.. … OH YEAH…. that leg will not get stuck on the accelerator.. ?!

Monday, February 1st
Welcome Florida... first day in paradise.. um.. Where DA SUN??? It's cloudy with rain.. Improvise... We don on the wetsuits.. and jump in the pool… life is good..


Tuesday, February 2nd
Cloudy and rain.. did someone say SUNNY??? FLORIDA?? Homework.. catch up on work emails… stuff.. maneuvering on the leggies.. is a bit of work...backwards down steps...

Wednesday, February 3rd
Going to take our first run since the marathon.. get the legs shook out… NICE.. sun is out… .. IT'S F-CKING HOT… Pool time…

Thursday, February 4th
Watching the weather channel again.. big snowstorm heading to the northeast.. what to do??.. what to do…?? BIKE… GO TO THE POOL… NICE… this is the life… "Joe, you realize we have to leave tonight after dinner to make it back home before this mother of all storms strands us in 95 hell?!".. yeah...

…….simple things for simple folks.. we leave at 8pm to head home.. PA here we come. 6 hours out of Florida, 2 hours out of Georgia, 4 hours out of South Carolina.. the storm is chasing us… 3-1/2 hours out of North Carolina..

Friday, February 5th
STILL IN THE F-ING TRUCK.. 4 hours through VA, 1 hour through MD, 1 hours through DE, Not that I believe in violence but the whole Washington DC area just need to be… sucked into a vortex and dispelled… snow has started.. traffic is I-N-S-A-N-E… almost home.. 20+ hours of driving… awake for 35 hours.. we are home… THANK GOD... truck unpacked.. sleepy time.. 6:30pm…
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One week… 41 hours of driving, twice being up for 35 hours straight, 30 hours of running, (marathon plus training run), 4 hours of school work (Wendy) and work emails (Joe), 4 hours of sun, 1 hour of biking.. and XX amount of relaxing ...WHY DOES NO ONE RELAX AROUND ME!!!>????

Lets go out into the Lobby and GET SOME

I know you all have been anxiously waiting for a story…

... but alas not much interesting going on.. or perhaps maybe TOO MUCH interesting going on.. Either case.. HAD TO WRITE about almost burning down the house last night… and to think I almost have a college education…

Perhaps I can blame it on .. not reading thoroughly or a lack of proper comprehension skills……or too much M-U-L-T-I tasking... whatever it is, I took something relatively simple.. and turned it into something complex….

...I thought what a great idea to have some pop-corn.. simple... easy to cook… tasty… yum…

So tearing myself away from my Facebook peeps… I hurried to the microwave …bag of unpopped corn in hand…. read the instructions.. ok.. 4 minutes on high… plop it in microwave… skip back to room and on Facebook..
.. the jolt of the fire alarm.. and the spewing mounds of grey smoke emanating from the kitchen should have been an indication that something was seriously wrong…

Gasping on the smell of black, charred kernels, I made my way through the dense cloud of smoke and unlatched the kitchen windows.. coughing... and taking in a LONG breath of fresh air…JEEZ US... the utter look of amazement as i watch smoke continue to billow out of the microwave... at least NOW I have something to write about....UGH

Playing too much

Perhaps I have been playing too much.. or just too damn lazy but either case.. here are the last couple of updates.. LATE AGAIN

10/28/09
Hello my little peeps.. this getting older stuff is rough.. sigh... so I dress in a normal sweater and pants to come to work.. you know .. normal clothes... and well I guess I have a heat flash?.... I instantly become 1000 degrees, like someone was holding a blow torch to my body.. like I was being boiled alive in my own clothes.. so now I'm screaming to get out of my sweater …. and pleading with my co worker to give me the shirt off their back.. and thankfully they have an extra shirt - go figure - in their desk.. (brand new)…whew....so I bring up this dilemma to my two "buddies" here and work… and this is what is said,

“You are insane. Maybe if you left a tiny bit of room for air to pass between your clothes and your skin you wouldn't overheat? "

Just call me the human torch..

10/31/09 - Saturday
It is time to play.. this is the time of year that I don’t take any of my racing too seriously and just sign up for a whole bunch of crap and run it… with no direction or rhyme or reason… so like I said.. its play time..

So on Halloween I signed up for the Hatboro Skeleton Skurry 5K.. I debated that morning on if I wanted to run it in costume or not.. and thought it would be sacrilegious if I DIDN’T wear a costume since it was actually ON Halloween.. So I hemmed and hawed about what to wear since I had been too busy to actually make anything .. then I remember I did make the underdog costume last year that I had used at the McGuires Mud run.. so up in the attic I go.. sifting through boxes and viola.. find it and on it goes..

It was another wet, damp, dreary morning.. quite typical for Northeastern weather for the end of October ..


I was kinda proud of myself that I didn’t pick a costume that was hot with all fur and stuff like last years Viking costume.. you know since I was having heat issues... so I got my picture taken with Elvis… got to run next to the corn again....got to beat a cave girl.. and clocked one of my best 5K times 23:37.. alas didn’t place… too many crazy old people running.. but did win a costume award!!!... VICTORY!!

11/7/09 - Saturday
See its really not me… not always.. Joe.. took his friend Jim mountain biking up at Marsh Creek on Saturday… and well to make a long story short.. Joe writes this posting on facebook….

“We are back at the ambulance...er I mean truck; time to go evacuate a broken Standish (his friend)…. damn trees; hate when they jump in front of you like that. I'm not a very good story teller, but I can tell you this: I heard a thump, and then the most blood curdling scream ever outside a movie. When I turned around and ran back up the hill Standish was on his back down the slope; his bike was a twisted mess up the slope, and there was a tree in between the two. I'm going to say because he feels like he's going to puke every time he moves his arm, that he broke his collar bone.”

Later communication provided that his friend is only bent not broken… and will be out of commission for a couple of weeks so then Joe can drag him back out through the woods again…

SO even with all this drama we still made it to the family Halloween birthday party …although the costume contest was fixed.. and my family is completely evil.. handing me the costume award.. me getting all excited.. then snatching it away saying NOPE YOU DIDN’T WIN… whatever…



11/8/09 - Sunday
BECAUSE we do NOT know how to relax… on Sunday, Joe and I headed to Bear Creek to run the 10K trail race (6.2 miles)…this time we were hoping to not have the subsequent circus act and ambulance ride...I mean the bees are all sleeping now... right?

Yeah.. except when there is an unexpected “heat wave”… I swear I almost made him get back in the truck and head home prior to the race when just standing outside our vehicle we were accosted by a bee.. WTF!

But oh no Joe said he had to do this.. and so off we go.. I can only say that Joe is a truly gifted trail runner.. we were together for what, the first half mile, then he just leapt like a mountain goat up those hills and away from me… the day was not without incident… there was a couple falls with some blood.. and ankle twists..and I almost kissed a tree.. but other than that.. fun was had… and he completed the race on his own accord!... Joe actually placed fairly high up in the field.. placing 34 out of 142 runners… very nice.

... so clean up .. head to Mom’s birthday dinner... and then back home to collapse..no wonder I dont have time to write..

Santa's Note

I sent Santa a note:
Dear Santa Claus, My name is Wendy. I am a girl and I am already 43 years old!! I live in the great city of Glenmoore. Of course, that's in Pennsylvania, United States, but I'll bet you knew that!! This year I've been so good that my halo is just a teensy weensy bit crooked!

Santa Claus, some things I might like for Christmas this year are: - HOT TUB; - CASH; and, - SWIMMING POOL.

Santa Claus, I almost forgot to say... Please santa I have been a really good girl and deserve a hot tub and cash this year.

Love, Wendy
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AND HE WROTE BACK:
#1, Rudolph Way
North Pole, Canada
HO HO HO

Glenmoore, Pennsylvania
United States Friday, November 06, 2009

Merrrryyyy Christmas Wendy!!

Thank you for sending me your email all the way from Glenmoore! The Net sure is wonderful because now I can get emails from Glenmoore and around the world in the blink of an eye. Even Rudolph gets emails... from pets! Why, here's Rudolph right now! HO!! Ho!! ho!! He just asked me to say 'Hi!' to you!

Jumping Jingle Bells, Wendy! Are you fibbing to ol' Santa Claus?!? You can't possibly be 43 years old already! Why it seems like only yesterday that I was leaving presents for a certain little girl and here you are now, practically one of Santa's elves! (*grin*)

Sorry the presents the last little while probably haven't been quite as exciting as they were when you were a little girl but, well, you know how these things go (*wink*). Anyway, Santa's glad to see some of the 'older kids' (not to mention anyone in particular!) still take the time to write. I also hear you've been a really good girl. (Of course, you won't mind if I do a little checking, will you? HO!! Ho!! ho!!).

Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. hot tub; 2. cash and; 3. swimming pool. HO!! Ho!! ho!! Those ARE good presents Wendy! We've been so very busy this year that I hope you won't be too upset with me if you don't get everything you want for Christmas.

Oh yes, before I forget Wendy, the elves really want you to visit my new blog! It is called Santa Claus' Christmas Blog. My blog is all about Christmas, life at the North Pole, and me, Santa Claus ! You can even write messages to me and see what others have written. I can hardly wait to see what you write!

Oops! I guess I shouldn't have had that last cookie because a button just popped right off my suit. I better go see if Mrs. Claus has any thread left! ho!! Ho!! HO!!

Take care Wendy and don't forget to come back and visit me here at EmailSanta.com on Christmas Eve!! And remember... only 49 more sleeps until Christmas!!

BFF (Best Friends Forever :),

SANTA

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Here is a great, fun website for Christmas... http://www.emailsanta.com/
.. Can't wait.. 49 days until Christmas! Oh and by the way I didnt write this.. amazingly enough.. but it was soo funny I just HAD to post it... you can actually create one of your own letters online too... and track Santa...

...............Santa better leave me some good loot..!

Hairy Gorilla Half Marathon

Last weekend, Joe and I traveled the 4-1/2 hours to New York to run a race called the Hairy Gorilla Half Marathon.. that would be 13.1 miles on hills and trails, oh and yeah LOTS OF MUD.

The finisher medal would be a small stuffed gorilla...just remove the fact that we would be driving almost 5 hours up and then back to run.. you have to think of the WHOLE package.. the fun ride up in the torrential rain, the bumper to bumper traffic, booking a hotel right next to the Albany airport..(hey, to my credit it was NOT even close to the tarmac!), and the 5 hour drive home after running for 2 hrs without showering… yeah.. it’s the WHOLE PACKAGE!

We made it to our hotel by late afternoon on Saturday and got checked in and did our usual.. Joe hooks up the computer, curses that he cant get online, spends 10 minutes figuring it out.. I change and go to hot tub and pool and so on.. it’s a ritual by now.. and we love it.

Joe actually did manage to slink down to the hot tub and pool and make an appearance.. although they didnt need to try and boil us alive, we did relax and then changed and went to dinner.... I love actually getting away.. its just really nice to be in a different environment and to actually get to sleep. (away from the dog and cat)… shame we actually have to PAY to get sleep...but sleep we did.. although we still woke up at 3:30 am.. oh well.. least we could go BACK to sleep.

On Sunday, the rain had stopped, and the temperature had dropped, A LOT... It was actually cold enough to probably snow but since there was NO possibility of any moisture being left after the almost 2 inches of rain the day before, we awoke to just a really COLD but clear morning.

The ride to Thacher State park only took about 20 minutes and it was beautiful. The leaves were brilliant in vibrant colors of orange, red, yellow and gold. As we trucked up the mountain in our big old gas guzzling vehicle… we kinda look out the windows at the elevation.. and made a little crazy snicker... “Gee hope we don’t have to RUN UP THAT..” (stupid PA folk)
Joe’s goal for the day was to actually FINISH this race and avoid the circus act and subsequent ambulance ride from the last trail half marathon (Bear Creek.. you know.. bee death sting and all).... I did try to ease his apprehension a bit (about possible bees) stating that its too cold for them.. I mean they die or something in the winter.. right? (I have really no clue but it sounded good, have you ever seen a bee in the winter, NO… ).. but least we had his EPI pen just in case….

Upon exiting our vehicle, we noticed right away it was VERY COLD up on this “mountain” and windy… so we would have to rethink our gear. We went with long pants, hats and gloves... Glad we did.. because although we were a bit warm say in the first 2 miles .. by mile 5 or so we had cooled down and we were downright comfy by late in the race...

The course was great it was a single loop that brought us back to the start at mile 6 (for the squirrel runners).. this first loop had a one mile up hill, a small stream crossing, and a few chain saw loving ghouls that jumped out at us.... and then for those who were doing the full half marathon.. there was another loop that was a bit more technical and a lot more muddy..

I started to question why do I always, well almost ....always pick the LONGER runs when there is an available shorter run???!... SIGH.. something definitely missing in the brain pan.

Joe and I had stuck together for only the first mile or so.. and then he ran ahead..which we knew he would.. he would end up beating me by 17 minutes.

We did see each other at one point during the race at a slight out and back section around mile 7/8 .. I had to round a corner to head down the section and he was coming out of it.. we passed each other right at the intersection.. that’s probably like one in a thousand chance…makes you kinda wonder how come we cant win the lottery.. .

So yes I power walked most of the steep uphills.. learned that LONG ago.. makes the race much more enjoyable, and I didn’t trip anyone.. swear.. she fell on her own and I was no where near her…and I did ask her if she was ok… and she was…

I will make this statement again.. I have made it before.. who ever said trail running is better for you.. sure… minus the broken bones, sprains, face plants, poison ivy, bees, thorns and smelling like horse shit.. sure I guess trail running is better…

So with about two miles to go.. just wanting to get this over with… I pick up the pace… and I notice this guy starts to trail me.. which of course makes me run faster… so now its me trying to shake off the moose.

No matter what I do.. I can NOT shake him… I jump logs he jumps.. I go into the woods off the main path he does too… (I only went off the path slightly seemed the better option than going over the wooden bridge, which the bridges were like sheets of ice…)

.... I run straight through the mud bogs and he does too…not that he is NOT suppose to be following the same path but I can sense he is following my exact route…

As I round a corner I come upon a couple who were tiptoeing around the mud… like.. HELLO>> HERE I COME… and so I go CRASHING through the mud bog.. spewing mud and slime all over them.. they were NOT happy …of course I am covered too.. but what could I do??!!.. stop and get out a hanky and wipe them down?..... I guess I should have said I was sorry... but I was out of breath.. and the freaking moose was still behind me and I WANTED to drop him like a bad habit…….

As I hit a steep turn, I completely lost my footing on the mud and went sliding to the left… screaming… I felt like a marshmallow being shot out of an air gun.. somehow I came out of the turn in tact with no blood or bruising…

With a mile left I entered a clearing and a nice FLAT section.. and then I die... my legs don’t want to move.. BUT ITS FLAT I tell them.. and they want no more part of this… and then the moose passes me… and then the couple I soiled PASSES ME.. I saw them smile... and the smile on my face got wiped right off!!!

… and then the fun ended.. 2 hours and 15 minutes …I cross the finish line... I see Joe and got my gorilla finisher medal. ...
Joe had finished in a phenomenal time of one hour and 58 minutes…SWEET!

Now to drive home… smelling like horse shit.. life is good!


PS: I thought so highly of the organization that put on this race and the fact that I love running races up North, I joined the Albany Running Exchange .. it's a group who has members of all ages and abilities, some local, some from other states. I had always wanted to join a running group that was just right, one that was perfect for me… and they are it!......oh and yeah they have a sweet looking jacket too…

Although it was pointed out to me (by one of my beloved friends)… that I was a little nutty and the only reason I wanted to join a running club that was 4 hours away in the next state was because I don't like people….hmmm...oh really…

PSS: look at this... I found this race that my new running group is putting on in July in NY… I like this part:
PASTURES..... You will go through CATTLE GRAZING PASTURES. All gates must be secured behind you. We will have rope loops to place over the post. We cannot let the cows out under any circumstances. And please do not step on any red newts!

How can you say that I don’t belong to this group!!!

Tanning

So I know... tanning.. tanning beds... BAD.. but sometimes a gal needs a little sunshine..

So on Wednesday, I thought I could use a bit of rays and stopped to tan....my tanning place has the beds you lay in… like a coffin...so I am in my coffin, looking forward to 10 minutes of peace and quiet.. and I feel something on the back of my leg.. I think to myself.. must be sweat… (you know when you start to sweat it sometimes turns to water and runs down the leg)…

Well then I feel something near my back.. hmmm.. I must be sweating lots... then something moves on my arm.. WTF! ....I jump up out of the coffin (mind you I am butt a-s naked).. thankfully in my own room.. and it’s a fly.. of course now I am swatting at the fly, my eye protection has fallen off and the ultra violet light is now piercing a hole through my skull.. freaking stupid... I finally lay back down..get myself comfy again ... and...

..the M-F-er comes back!!!... Now he is mad.. and he is trapped in the coffin with me .. oohhhh ugh.... i flip off the coffin lid and grab a towel and start swatting everything in sight, banging the tanning bed and wall.. I am sure the lady who is working downstairs at the front desk is wondering what the H-ll is going on... this is SOO ruining my peaceful alone time.. !!!

UGH!!.. finally thinking I rid myself of the demon I lay back down, heart rate calms, I start to enter my place of peace, deep breathing.. relax.. and then the buzzer goes off.. cooked.. time up..

SIGH.. I get out and there the fly is... all smashed up under my a-s….