Most of you have already heard by now.. for those who have not…I did NOT make the first ROLLER DERBY DRAFTS….
So I pouted and I sulked.. and I cried myself to sleep. …
I guess I really didn’t think out what if…and yeah that was a bad assumption on my part.
I am fearless.. and believe that anyone can do anything if they believe it… I remember that first derby meeting, sitting around a picnic table listening to some man and his wild ideas, thinking what the heck, but oh yeah! I remember that first practice on my birthday learning how to skate...but oh yeah! I remember putting on my helmet on backwards and someone telling me.. but oh yeah!
I knew it would be hard balancing work, class two nights a week, family, keeping up with my running and tri training but derby was creeping into my soul. Yes, I know I am fearless..
I attempt a lot and sometimes I fall flat.. I pick myself up and continue on.. but sometimes it's just better to move on.. I spent a good portion of my life trying to make myself better, to hit goals and aspirations that well.. maybe are just not meant to be. Perhaps sometimes if you try something and fail.. maybe you are just suppose to fail and let it be.
For me life is about trying things I never thought possible and having fun doing so... a quote from one of my derby girls:
"I think of the first Saturday morning that we skated together and think how far you have come! You have been an inspiration to me. I am doing things at my age I never thought I would. I probably would have quit if you weren’t around pumping everyone up."
I'm glad my time in the league meant something, not just for me but for someone else. I am coming to terms with it ...and each day will get better. Perhaps maybe when that next door opens...I will peek first…
R.I.P. NIKKI CAGE
