QUALIFIED FOR BOSTON!

I don’t know.. I kinda expected to cry.. throw my arms up in victory..scream, holler, have fireworks light up, streamers, confetti, horns, you know.. dramatic flair the moment I did it...  but on Sunday as I crossed the finish line of the Shamrock Marathon, at a Boston Qualifying time of 3:55:30.. I felt an unbelievable sense of calm... like when someone finally gets to the end of a book and closes it gently... 

I am stunned... the utter disbelief that FINALLY after 8 years of holding on to a dream... the countless miles; in snow, rain, heat... through good training and bad training.. good weather and bad weather, through sickness and health.. 

I cannot believe that I FINALLY QUALIFIED FOR THE BOSTON MARATHON!! 

KEEP calm and carry on… I was blessed to be able to come back to the Shamrock Marathon this year, having suffered some personal setbacks in August and having to build back my strength to be able to run and to live again... Life is such a blessing.

Tinkerbell...I couldnt think of a better name for my Race Bib.. a dedication to my mother... who for whatever reason dubbed me her Tinkerbell. I know she was looking down on me on Sunday... smiling... and I would be running with my best friend/hubby by my side.  How could life get any better?!

I promised to not go out too fast.. to ease into the miles... and so…I did… and covered the first 16 miles with some sort of “Girls Gone Wild”   but truth be told.. I felt good.. I felt relaxed and the pace felt really "easy"…  and then I got to mile 17 and I thought I WOULD FNING DIE… ..

HOT DAMN… I remember thinking for just a fraction of a second how if ONLY I could just stop and cry… because it HURT THAT MUCH…I want TO DIE. . just leave me.. I cannot go on... this total b-llsh-t... BELIEVE in your TRAINING.. BELIEVE in your TRAINING...  BELIEVE.. BELIEVE... IGNORE THE CRAZY MAN WHO IS RUNNING TWO PACES AHEAD OF YOU.. IGNORE that everyone is now passing you…. REGROUP.. you are  A MACHINE.

It took a few miles.. to reset my mind.. to stop wallowing in self pity because I actually PAID money to do this...  and WHAT THE H-LL IS JOE DOING? He sure is getting on my last nerves, if only I could catch up to him...I would most certainly pummel him to death.  I HATE HIM.. HATE!

He runs so easily... and I am suffering.. and wait.. no i dont hate him.. i am sorry... now I feel guilty for having hateful thoughts... and why is he hollering at me..???!. GO THE H-LL AWAY...

I became so enraged at my own self pity, at Joe for not appearing to suffer as much as me... at the cute young tan girl who just passed me.. at the people watching because I  AM SUFFERING ... DAMMIT... and they are NOT!.... I WILL show them .. .I am going to "SPRINT" the last 3 miles.. because I KNOW I CAN... . who knew that my mind could really convince my body .. and so it was written and so it was told.

I hit mile 23 and sprinted past Joe…

Damn annoying best friend....that will show him.. but the “best friend”  had somehow resumed in front and had started some sort of bantering waving of the hands.. yelling something about let's go… dig deep and.. OMGOD!!.. With TINKERBELL on my race bib and commando two feet ahead of me waving his arms yelling at me.. I smiled.. 

I hit the boardwalk.. half mile to go..  I cannot say I recall much of that last half mile.. other than looking at the back of a raving lunatic .. as I am running a "sprint" on shredded legs … 

AND SMILING... I crossed that line..  a Boston qualifying time.

Never, ever give up on your dreams.. believe in them with all your heart and soul... Life for me changed back in the fall of 2006.. that day when I decided to put on those dusty sneakers and run after 20 years.. a quarter mile at a time…

The best advice I can give is to live your life as fully as possible… don’t let the poison get to you… have no regrets… Mom this was for you!  TINKERBELL ROCKED IT!

THANK GOD THAT SH-T IS OVER!

Thank you to my family, my running family and to my best friend/hubby Joe… without you I most certainly would not have become who I am today.  ..  So let it be written so let it be told….

Shamrock On

I cant believe its been 9 years since I have been running the Shamrock Half Marathon and 8K… Seems like just yesterday I was gitty with excitement for my first ever half marathon.. BOY when I tell you.. how exciting it is to reach milestones like that.. the longest I had ever run in my life… it truly is life changing.

I was reading over my racing diary for that great day in March 2007..how I made this map of the entire course and taped it to the wall of the hotel.. and how Joe at this time was not running yet and seeing him near the end of the race was the most amazing thing ever… but true be told… this race had only great meaning after mom was diagnosed with cancer in 2010.

See I did that race in 2007.. and then in 2008 (Joe stopped smoking and did his first 8K ever).. and in 2009.. but then the year 2010.. mom was diagnosed in Feb 2010 with cancer…our family was devastated..

I remember how mom actually pulled me aside and said, "Go to Shamrock, this race means so much to you and Joe and I will be ok.. just come visit when you get back and I will be cheering for you!"… OF COURSE.. I cancelled our race and hotel.. that week I stayed by her bedside at the hospital and read to her as she she laid motionless recovering..I watching her breathe.. and I prayed..

We had a blessed two additional years with mom.. and Joe and I did go back and race at Shamrock in 2011 & 2012 .. I still remember the leg warmers she purchased for me to wear… LEG WARMERS for godsake.. (you see them in my pic above)... I put them on as arm warmers.. lol… and then she passed away…

Life goes on.. and you pick up the pieces and struggle about.. to find a way to deal with the vacant hole in your heart.. Joe and I did not race Shamrock in 2013… and we thought about never returning.. but then life took another turn… a life changing surgery for me.. and a realization that we truly only have a certain number of days..

I am blessed to say that once again I am back at the Shamrock races.. and although I won't be doing the 8k and half.. I choose to take on the mother of all races.. the Marathon.. To honor my mother.. and to prove that I can beat those demons…

I would love to say that I will make my Boston marathon time on Sunday.. but who knows.. sometimes life gets in the way… But what I am sure of.. that every step on Sunday.. I will make with my mother in heaven and with Joe by my side .... Shamrock on!

Head Congestion

I used to be a writer.. . I mean I used to write all the time.. prior to the whole Facebook take over thingy....I used to jot down my adventures, stories and escapades …

Mostly because I needed to get that shit out of my head…because we all KNOW I got A LOT going on in there.. lol! But also it was a way I could stay connected with my family…

Back in the day… it was letters…. And phone calls… and then the new and exciting way of reaching more than one person at a time… electronic mail… EMAIL!  WAHOO! And with advances in the operating systems for email, a document could be sent quite quickly to family and friends, and viola.. either you sent something you SHOULD or you SHOULD NOT HAVE…uh oh…

    

For the young ones reading this and saying.. um what?  Yes, my little cherubs there was a time without email.. when I started working (shhh just a few moons ago)… there was no such thing as email.  

THE HORRORS.. how did we communicate?  Crazy.. I know …but you would have to pick up the phone or actually DOUBLE HORRORS… walk over to someone’s desk! 

If ONLY I could show you how many phonebooks I kept at my desk for when the bossman wanted to find someone… how many calls to the operator and various businesses until I found the correct one!.. OLD SCHOOL!

After the email sensation…. I realized I was either forgetting to put someone on my emails, adding someone I shouldn’t ..UH OH... and so I thought if ONLY..  I could put my story somewhere where it could be read at their leisure .. and VIOLA!!!… I found something that was just gaining popularity which is now called BLOGS. 

...it was VERY new back then.. and I was a bit fearful of actually putting my words out there for all to see.. because I really just write for ME… so I created this blog… TO GET the demons out…

..Life was Good…  And then Facebook came about for my generation .. FACEBOOK… a new way to communicate..the stories faded to snibbits… to snap chats of time…and that was COOL… 

..but then my writing got lost…really.. really lost... and all these things are STUCK IN MY HEAD ...AND I CANNOT GET THEM OUT!!!... and so now I am just going back to basics… well kinda…

In one week.. is the official start of my spring racing schedule and this year is super special.  I have elected to challenge myself to complete 50 marathons/ultras by the time I turn 50 in December.  Yeah..more on that..

So what perfect timing to get back to my story telling in conjunction with the start of my best year of racing yet…

I hope you join me on this journey... 

Here is an email from February 2007 before my first Half Marathon ever.. (What I find really funny is how far I have come...but also how far i HAVE NOT come - I still put on all that shit on and cry about it.. lol!  Hugs that two of the people on this original email have passed away.. my beloved mother and grandmother…)

From: Princessub40 

To: Connie Valentino ; Josephine Mastripolito ; Bob Mastripolito ; Nanny Landers ; Joe ; Heather Hoxter ; J.F.Z. and T. Gay ; Sue Duffy ; Dad Duffy ; Chuck & Di Duffy 

Sent: Sunday, February 18, 2007 1:35 PM

Subject: Wendy's Long Training Run Today
I am going to quote a sentence from a book I am reading..

{The runners "high" has been defined as a euphoric sensation experienced during running,  usually unexpected in which the runner feels a heightened sense of well-being, enhanced appreciation of nature, and transcendence of barriers of time and space.}

WHAT FREAKING B-LLSHIT...  Today is the scheduled 10 mile training run (would be my second 10 miler that I would run)  needed for the training for my half marathon in three weeks.. no problem..  I  don on my ten pounds of clothing, layering appropriately to "properly insulate" my skin from the cold,  its 32 degrees with winds gusting to 21 mph.. so I figure wind chill around 18.??....I am covered head to toe - hat, gloves the works... I head out... now I am not sure why I would have thought that the roads would have been clear or at least reasonably clear 4 days after a major storm...

I get about a 1/2 mile down road and its covered with snow and ice with some bare spots.. at about 3 miles I am now exhausted, I feel like I have been running on sand for the last 3 miles..... the wind coming across the fields pierces my face like 10,000 tiny  icicle daggers....my cheeks and lips are numb... around mile 4... I AM NOW MORE TIRED.... NOT FEELING one bit EUPHORIC  NOR was there any "HEIGHTENED SENSE OF WELL BEING"  NOR APPRECIATION OF NATURE.. Nature s-cks..  this s-cks..  I hate birds, trees, and the stupid  bunny tracks in the snow... everything...I HATE EVERYTHING... !!!

About 6 miles around I am BEYOND TIRED.... I am now thirsty.. something else to dwell on... THIRSTY AS H-LL.. I dont have a belt to carry water yet.. should have gotten one.. so I dwell on being thirsty for another half mile until I determine that yes the snow isnt yellow.. I stop, pick some up.. viola  instant water.. I do this around 7 mile lap too..I feeling fairly smart that I figured this out.. during my last loop the winds pick up and I am feeling dreadfully cold ..

I think COLD at this point is an understatement..  I run with my hand up to shield the winds for another half mile when I give.. I GIVE!!! I am heading back home.. I dont care that I havent completed 10 miles.. I figure I will have completed 8 miles by the end of this and I HAVE to get some credit for running in this sh-t... I get home I have run 8.5 miles.. in 1 hour and 24 minutes... 9.48 pace..  Now back to that quote from the book.. those people who say they get a euphoric sensation are delirious!!!!!.....  there is NO HEIGHTENED SENSE OF WELL BEING with running.. but alas I love it... I must be delirious...

50 by 50

I was just discussing with Joe how much I miss documenting my adventures.. and thought for a moment on what happen... and the plan matter of fact is.. when mom passed, I kinda got lost... I kinda lost the motivation, the willpower.. and the drive .... And so I had hoped that through this empty madness I could find that light... to once again bring forth the words I so love ..and so it begins... AGAIN.. 

This is a special year for me... with a renewed life of wishes, hopes and dreams.. I bring forth 50 by 50....

The goal of doing 50 marathons before I turn 50 in December... of course I am still debating on if an Ultra counts as a marathon because its more than a marathon and if I should revise the 50 by 50 to marathons and above. 

See this makes a difference when you are currently at 35 marathons and 5 ultras.. would that make the need to do 15 marathons in 2015 to get to 50.. or would that make 10 (counting the ultras as marathons)... so lets say we just make sure after we hit 50+ marathons plus ultras to do a few extra to make sure I can truly say 50 marathons by 50 not 50 marathon plus ultras by 50... WTH!?? 

SO.. you think .. ok.. well thats kinda not too bad.. or maybe you say.. that’s outta your mind crazy.. either case... it’s the goal.. and I plan to enjoy every moment of it.. and I plan to bring my birthday in and say DONE... we have done that... and lets do something else.. 

First goal is to hopefully get that Boston qualifying time. And then complete my 50 by 50 all sprinkled through 2015.. cant wait for that week where I run 5 marathons in 7 days.. and... oh yeah.. and to run 100 miles in 24 hours but see that would only count as 1 marathon.. or wait one ultra.. so then does that count as a marathon.. EEP!  ...make sure you have your goals handy.. 

Ohh yeah and did I mention the fact that after my personal record setting half marathon that I completed in Naples in January where I could barely walk and remove my own sneakers... how on the way back from the race, my father decides he wants to get his car washed.. and that everyone must exit the vehicle... and whaaaat?