The Quest
Fall 2006
A flyer appears in my mailbox. It’s a 5K run on September 30th to benefit our local firefighters. They are offering medals for the top three placers, hmm, medals....oh I likely medals... I carefully reread the flyer, 3.1 miles... in 4 weeks... oh heck yeah I so can do this.. no problem! I skip across the room and excitingly show Joe the flyer.
"Do you think a month is enough time to get ready to run this 5K?.. (how can he resist this huge smiling face of mine? I just know he will say of course and be so supportive and provide endless encouragement, and .. well after explaining to him what EXACTLY the distance was for THIS RUNNING RACE... that a 5K is 3.1 miles. He paused, he looked me in the eye and said, “YOU ARE KIDDING, RIGHT? That is 3 miles, you don't even walk that far, how the hell are you going to be ready to run that far in a month? NO WAY!”
um.. oh... wow .. ok .. that was a bit of a bubble buster... but heck whatever.. I assume all my trips walking from....,the couch to the fridge for more wine doesn't count? whatever! I will ask someone with a bit more compassion and who will give me the reassurance and correct answer, off to talk to the daughter.
Who promptly LAUGHS at me... LAUGHS! And says, “Um, no mom you will have a heart attack.” .. OH jeez... NOW I am offended.. I am NOT that out of shape.. !!!! YOU DO KNOW I was like in cross country and track some years ago and I was kinda fast for a mid packer.. and JEEZ .. that's it.. I'm going to talk to my MOTHER!
I call my mother. Mom’s are great at giving encouragement. My mother will BACK ME UP!.. I am her SUPERSTAR!.... And so I ask her if she thinks I have enough time to train for a running race in a month. I hear giggles over the phone... WTH!??? ....GIGGLES.. that becomes almost hysterical laughs .. “How do you expect to get in shape that fast, you ain’t a spring chicken anymore, you do know you are 40, right? .. DEVASTATION... ! Total devastation.. knocked to the ground and.... but this lit a fire... a fire so deep that it created what I am today... I will show them!
ALL THE NONE BELIEVERS!!
Training Day 1: I find my old sneakers in the garage under some boots. I will show them, I can still run. I am going to win a medal! My sneakers are kind of cobwebby. I tap them on the ground to make sure no spiders are sleeping in them, I sit down to stretch. My dog Isabella licks my face, my cat Fernando starts wrestling with Isabella over my outstretched legs, for the love of G-d!
Jogging, why is it when you first start jogging it feels like all the extra meat on you’re ass swings?
I jog 1.3 miles in about 20 minutes... holy shit.....I cannot breathe, I cannot walk.... and OH hell that was the longest 20 minutes of my life... EVER.
Training Day 2: Joe offers to buy me new sneakers. I pick pink and white ones. Damn my feet look cute! Wow, the adrenalin from day 1 IS GONE. EWE this really sucks, who the freak runs anyhow!! I jog 1.3 miles in about 17 minutes. No enjoyment what so ever.
Training Day 3: Rest. Thank goodness.
RETHINK RUNNING THING. ******************
Training Day 4: I RUN like a bat out of hell. There is something severely wrong with me. Less than a mile in 15 minutes. WTF!!!! I am gasping for breath and heaving, my dog is looking at me with great concern. I am ok, hyperventilating, throw myself on the ground, temple veins protruding. WHY AM I DOING THIS ANYWAY!?
Training Day 5: Rest.
RETHINK THE WHOLE RUNNING IDEA.
Training Day 6: Ass swing has lightened, oh yeah. I jog a decent 1.75 miles in 22 minutes. Wow, great. Joe asked if I was on the highway? HUH? He said look in the mirror, I look, bugs are smashed all over my face.
Training Day 7: Rest.
RETHINK THE WHOLE RUNNING IDEA.
Training Day 8: After some enlightening conversation with myself, asking self why, why on earth am I running?... I am tired, I am hungry, I am sore from I don't really know what.. the weather is crappy, there are tornado watches in area, but I am going to run. I check time. I run.
So what if the course I chose was not the best and perhaps it would have been advisable to stick to back roads or at least roads with shoulders. Yeah sorry to the huge tractor trailer who had to stop in the middle of the road because he couldn’t get around me and didn’t want to hit me. I Cant't FNG breathe just run me over... Oh and is he waving to me to wish me well.. me the runner girl! I smile...
HI! oh wait that is not a wave... was that the finger he is giving me? Mean people SUCK! I run a clear 10 minute mile!!! 2 miles in 20 minutes, yeah!
The truth be told, I ran that race on September 30th of that year and then another race and another... and it took me a few races to not actually run in a damn cotton tshirt.. but I did it... it was slow.. and I didnt know a damn thing.. but i did it... AND I AM STILL DOING IT! HAPPY THROWBACK THURSDAY!
